from darkness, beauty arises
"Art is restoration. The idea is to repair the damages that are inflicted in life - to make something that is fragmented, which is what fear and anxiety do to a person - into something whole."
-- Louise Bourgeois by way of Hannah Gadsby
Over and over, I learn that I create things because I know who I am when I do.
At first, I thought that learning watercolor and painting flowers and landscapes was only about learning something new and making something that centers beauty. And that is inherently a part of this work.
But this process has also been about taking this to the things that are impacting most currently. I'm in trauma recovery. So much about that experience is not just about getting to the next moment, but also about finding myself in those moments. I am so much more than someone who experienced childhood sexual and organized abuse. I am more than someone recovering from those injuries.
Healing is not about regaining something. It is about creating something new. I have to constantly keep trying new things, allowing myself to unlearn old ideas and have new experiences in order to do that healing. The creative process feels much the same. I learn and grow in order to create new things in my studio.
The work here is where art and transformation meet.
This work grows out of the collage work and the heart protectors in "sometimes all i can remember is sky. . . "